Employees’ Lunches Go Missing: CB Lunchbag Bandit Strikes Again

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Has your lunch ever gone missing? Have you ever opened the fridge only to find a bite taken out of your pepperoni pizza? Are your lean cuisines disappearing like hot cakes? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions then you, my friend, are a first-hand victim of a heinous crime that has hit millions of corporate kitchens across the nation.

You may feel violated about the Pei-Wei leftovers that have mysteriously gone missing. Or perhaps what you feel is paranoia and fear that this character will strike again at any moment, stripping you of not only your delicious leftovers, but your decency.

The bad news is that the Lunchbag Bandit has struck again, and this time (he/she) was not messing around. What’s gone missing? Everything from corn bread that was meant to accompany a bowl of chili to an entire platter of Moe’s. The only thing left standing was a lonely-looking cupcake with a generous bite taken from it’s side.

Paranoia has hit CB employees as more and more lunches have gone missing. Employees have taken drastic measures to trick the bandit, like mis-labeling their lunches. One employee labeled her lunch “chewing tobacco.” But, the bandit did not falter and quickly snatched the plate of pulled pork right from its home. The Lunchbag Bandit has even become so skilled, that it’s been reported that (he/she) has stolen the socks right off the feet of a fellow CB employee. The worst part? He was eating while it happened.

The final straw was when one employee was found rocking back and forth underneath his desk muttering something about a missing homemade chicken pot pie. Yes, that’s right…homemade. Something had to be done. New state-of-the-art surveillance was put into place, and we were finally able to uncover the perpetrator of this rogue crime. And as every mystery goes, you never would’ve guessed who the violator was…

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